April 26, 2008

Quote of the day

Posted in Uncategorized tagged at 1:07 am by foodaddict

“The thin person inside me finally got out — it just turned out she was actually a fat person. ”

Kate Harding, “The Fantasy of Being Thin”, 11/27/07

Am I that way? I am I putting my life on hold until I’m thin? No, not completely. It’s not even that I care so much about my weight. Yes, I could stand to lose 20 pounds. But it’s more than that. I just hate the feeling of being out of control and stuffing food in my mouth for reasons other than hunger. I hate being overstuffed, I hate nearly passing out after a sugar high. I just know something is wrong with that behavior. It’s more like, I feel like most of my life is so out of control, and eating is one part of it. Deep down, I want to live this highly regimented life, where I go to bed at the same time every night, I wake up at the same time every morning, and I exercise every day, and where there’s not so much uncertainty about the future, and I am more productive and my career is moving ahead and I’m making more money and I’m not feeling like I’m stagnating. Partly, I just have no clue about how to function in the outside world, I have no idea how to make connections with people, so I get crazy about things I can control in my little world, like food.


1 Comment »

  1. Bee said,

    Hmm, that’s sort of how I felt before I stupidly succumbed to anorexia many years ago… if I couldn’t control anything else in my life, I’d control food. What a bad, bad, misguided idea. Anyways, enough about me. All the best to you!

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